The Devil

[1257]

He has eight legs, has a big black body and lives in my room. I am fucking terrified.

[1258]

What's the point in ten years of scars?

[0143]

Today was a troublesome day.

I've been up since very early, and now I can't sleep. I had a long and unproductive day in work, only slightly enhanced by this mornings comedic fashion accident. I try not to suffer the persistence of fools, but sometimes I find it extremely difficult. I held my breath and bit my tongue for most of the afternoon, both literally and metaphorically.

I was supposed to do some work on my car when I got in, but it was pretty late, and so I watched the Tony Robinson documentary about how the Earth was shaped by catastrophic collisions instead. It was pretty good, but even there I found something to bitch about. They had this astrophysicist on it who's job it was to shoot at the moon with a billion watt space laser. That's his fucking job. Trying to get the internet to do what I want seems to pale into insignificance beside the majesty of it.

I had some fun with Cindy playing Left 4 Dead after that, but when we finished up my evening went on kind of a downward spiral.  I said I was going to bed more than 2 ¹/₂ hours ago, but here I am. Still wide awake and thinking. I don't talk much about my personal life in the public domain, because it IS personal, but right now, I'm very conflicted.

I want to be less bitter.

I want to poison the world.

I don't know which I want more. It's not so long ago that everything was so much simpler. 

[0250]

Talking about games

[1434]

I never seem to have a lot of free time these days, so I end up talking about playing games a lot more than I play them. When I do get a chance to play them, they're generally games that I can pick up, play for five or ten minutes and then go and do something else.

Last night I went home early with the intention of spending some time playing Burnout Paradise, Fallout 2, Mass Effect or any of the other myriad games I've spent money on but not played enough.  That didn't happen though, and here's why...

After briefly trying the demo for MegaMan 9, I bought the full* game off XBox Live Arcade.  Now, I loved MegaMan as a kid, and MegaMan 2 is one of my all time favourite games, but I don't remember any of them being even close to as hard as this is.

I spent HOURS playing it, and I managed to kill ONE of the eight master robots.  It made me want to smash my controller, so I played Castle Crashers instead.  What an ending.

So, in summary:

FUCK YOU, MEGAMAN 9!

[1447]

* this is open to interpretation

I am 138

[1743]

The pleasantries are gone.

I'm stripped of all I was.

[1750]

Setbacks

I feel like I'm being constantly held down.

My veins are white hot.

Every day I walk the same way home

Nothing changes, nothing improves.

My already negative outlook is on a downward spiral. It amazes me that I can find solace in comparing events in, and facets of, my life to shit I read on the internet.

Time for an example, with a quick explanatory aside!

The image on the left is single panel from the actual comic, which can be found by clicking the link. Rather than stealing the artists bandwidth, and per display advertising revenue, you should visit his site. I found it decently amusing.

Anyways, when I read this one it pissed me off, because, surprise surprise, my car is fucked. Not only that, but it's fucked enough that I don't think it's economically viable to get it repaired.

I was quoted at €1100 to get a second hand gearbox installed in the car, including labour. That doesn't include whatever it'll cost to get what I actually sent the car in for fixed. That's more than I paid for the car, and in the year that i had it, I'd probably spent that much again on getting bits and pieces of it sorted out and fixed.

This bums me out. If you know me, you know I love my little car, but I guess it's time to move on and get a new one. I might even break out of character and use it to mac on ladies.

I went to see Walk Hard last night, with Panda. He'd already seen it, but he enjoyed it so much that he wanted to go again. I'm glad, cos two nights in a row of going to the cinema and asking for "one please" would probably have caused me endless distress. It was a pretty entertaining anyways, and I'd definitely recommend it.

I wasn't sure about going to see it, but I had my iTunes on random during the day and Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt came on. That kind of convinced me. Hurray for being a goth.

While I was looking for an image of the poster, I found the picture on the left. It's unspoken subtleties like this that make Walk Hard a good comedy.

The theatrical trailer for John Rambo was also shown before the film. I'm excited for that. February 22nd can't come fast enough.

After the movie was done we bailed up to Eamonn Doran's. It's pretty much the only place where I get to hang out with some people that I like to hang out with. After last night, I won't be going back unless it's for a gig. It's not like I had a particularly terrible time, but I don't feel comfortable looking around and feeling nothing but contempt for practically everyone I can see. I'm not referring to the people I was talking to last night, because you're the reason I went in the first place.

It's just everyone else.

Big thanks to Derry for bringing me home. I couldn't have faced the Nitelink.

Imagine the faces of strangers exploding...

Time for some more hate.

Valentine's day approaches fast. I want to choke every smiling couple I see on chocolate hearts, inexpertly wrapped in red foil. Sorry if you like me and this includes you. Having spent some time thinking on it, it strikes me that I'd probably rather die alone than put myself in the firing line again. Being non-specifically bitter is a lot easier than I thought it'd be.

It's hard for me to trust anyone,
and that's what hurts the most.
I've got a heart that I can't open,
and fist that I keep closed

Moving on.

We, Another Day In Hell, played a show last Saturday with Arcada, Heathers and Soldiers Take Half. It was some of the most fun I've had yet this year. We played a new song and busted out a cover that we're probably not going to play again, no matter how much we're asked. I'm sorry if you missed it.

We also got the prospective artwork back for our CD from the amazing Simon Edge. It's looking good. It'll be getting released on Half Shell as soon as we have Blacklisted out of the way. I'm looking forward to finally having it done, considering how long it's been since we recorded the songs.

The show we were going to be playing on February 14^th has been canceled, but the all ages in Greystones on the 9^th is still going ahead. We might have another gig on the 7^th, and possibly some stuff at the start of March, before we head to the UK for the shows in Bury St. Edmonds and Colchester.

Other news. I found out today that it's going to cost me a lot more than €1,000 to get my car fixed. I don't know if it's worth it to keep it alive, when something else might go wrong. It's distressing. I love my little car. Apparantly I need something black, with racing stripes. I'm not so sure I agree.

Anyways. Blacklisted in two days. I'm trying to remain excited, but I'm just getting worried about it at this point. If this one doesn't go well, we'll have to evaluate how viable it is for us to put on these bigger shows.

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Bands I'm listening to that you should also be the one that's listening to:

• Panic

Slipped gears

Well, shit. I got into my car to drive it down the road to the garage, got to the turn coming out of my estate and the clutch went.

It's at the side of the road now, not going anywhere, waiting for the dudes from the garage to come and tow it off. I'm stuck here until they arrive, and it's been nearly an hour now, and then I have to leave to go to work. It's a good job I'm not incredibly busy right now. *sigh*

I'm definitely not looking forward to the bill for this one.

How very frustrating.

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Bands I'm listening to that you should also be the one that's listening to:

• Outbreak